Charlene Roycht (Photo by Jim Tulk)

"I just finished reading your book last night. Above all else I appreciated your total honesty-your dark side-your anger and confusion. Your book had me laughing & crying & feeling everything else along the way. My Aunt Ruth had a serious stroke recently so I'm on a similar journey & have felt very connected to your story. And like you I'm grateful for the opportunity to be there, hold hands ... Thanks for your courage to not come off like a saint even if you are. Much Love and all good things." S. R., Toronto

"Finished your book over the holidays. You're a saint. I loved it. Love all you did for your mother. Love your life philosophy. I think we could all use more patience, love and understanding for others and ourselves...It was a wonderfully spiritually, wonderfully powerful and incredibly moving book. Loved it sistah." M.M., Toronto

"What a privilege to read your heart, so exposed, so loving. Yes, your lighting the path for us who are in the midst of the departure" is appreciated... I keep your chapters to read when things are weirder than usual. They are comforting and wise and wonderfully human. Your light is shinning for us all." M.A., Kentucky

'Living, loving, dying' Author chronicles mother's last year

by Claudia Sherrill

Charlene Roycht's mother and father, Catherine and Albert, moved to Sun City in May,1974 from Illinois. They enjoyed the weather and the lifestyle, rode bicycles and walked, and were active members of the Yugoslavian Club, where Catherine served in various leadership positions.

After her husband died in 1987, Catherine became active in St. Vincent de Paul , working to feed the homeless. By all accounts she was a dedicated volunteer and loved living in Sun City.

But, as the years went on, she developed health problems, emphysema being chief among them, and eventually was unable to live on her own.

Her daughters, Charlene, who lives in Toronto, Canada, and Donna Boehme, who now lives in Sun City, moved their mother back to Ohio in 2002, where she could be closer to them both. Charlene Roycht kept a journal of the last year of her mother's life, chronicling the ups and downs of Catherine's health, moves in and out of hospitals and assisted-living facilities, and all the accompanying stress and emotions the family experienced as the mother declined.

"If Mom's Not Dead by 9, I'm Leaving" is that journal, printed as it was written, all in lower case, not spruced up or fancifully edited. It is frantic and frenetic at times, happy and upbeat at times, and sad and melancholy at times. In short, it is a reflection of Charlene's experience in watching and helping her mother as she took her last journey in life, toward death.

Charlene Roycht is a deeply spiritual woman, drawn easily to prayer, sustained by a faith that helped her through her own health crisis with colon cancer. She calls on that faith constantly throughout her journal, praying for patience, praying for understanding, praying for her mother's health and praying for an end to her pain.

Her aim in sharing her journal, subtitled, " a journal about living, loving, dying," is to encourage others to be with a dying parent.

"Do your very best, " she said. "Be with someone, anyone, in a way you would hope someone would be with you. That's it. That's simply it."

Because she lived about five hours away in Toronto, Charlene gratefully acknowledges the major role sister and brother-in-law played in caring for their mother.

"I am so very proud of my sister and how she cared for my mom. She's really cut of the same cloth as mom ... a giver, most generous, an angel," Charlene said of Donna.

Both sisters suffered under the stress of their mother's care. Charlene spent countless weeks away from her home, her job, her partner, and her pets, and Donna was a constant presence with her mother, with both women trying to ease Catherine's discomfort and provide whatever support they could.

They honored their mother with the care they provided until she died April 8, 2003. Charlene, Donna and their families returned Catherine to Sun City for funeral services and interment at Sunland Mortuary. The St. Vincent de Paul Society honored Catherine with brick No. 208 in the Memorial Garden, 420 W. Watkins Road, in Phoenix. At 11 a.m. Monday, which was Catherine's birthday, Charlene read from "If Mom's Not Dead by 9, I'm Leaving."

"...beautifully chronicled."
Brother Philip R. Smith, CSC, Ed.D.

"Her philosophical mind and spirituality become poetry."
Jo Raciti Forsberg, Improv Icon, Chicago, Illinois

"...there is no agenda for the journey except patience, attendance, and love."
Sharon Carlson, Talent Director, Out of the Box, Actor, Voice Teacher, Roosevelt University and Columbia College