Beach Metro Community News (Oct.5, 2004) Review by Bill Maclean

A poet deals with mother's death

It has an odd, some-what off-putting title, but If Mom's Not Dead by 9, I'm Leaving, is anything but flip or off-handed. Written by Beach author, personal coach and comedian, Charlene Roycht, this book is a powerful, personal diary of the months surrounding the death of Roycht's mother.

Beginning in April 2002, the journal ends almost exactly a year later. In between is a lifetime's worth of emotional soul-searching, grief, anguish, anger, sorrow, repentance, and mostly love, as Roycht poetically chronicles her mother's health decline, the back and forth visits to the hospital room in Toledo, Ohio, her interactions with her sister, Donna (it was Donna who coined the title), and her own inner journey of acceptance and understanding

. ... a day of raw emotion. mom's bad. many tears. we think it's close. mom's left hand is swollen. difficult to look at ... i guess i can't believe it. in one breath, it could end. poor mom. so miserable ... i hate mom's suffering, hate missing my life. impatience, selfishness, a normal human being?

Roycht is a poet, and has chosen to render her journal in a literary style resembling a diary; no capitalization, short stream -of-consciousness sentences and dated chapters. It makes for a heightened sense of immediacy, and offers a closer glimpse into the author's inner mind.

Roycht is also a personal life coach whose hero and spiritual mentor is Marianne Williamson, a lecturer and spiritualist from New York. It is to Williamson that Roycht turns for sustenance when the gruelling emotional toil of being a caregiver to her mother becomes overwhelming.

For anyone is in the midst of caring for an elderly parent, this book is a must-read -- if only to help one realize that others have gone through this before and have insights to offer. It helps you realize that the emotions you feel are normal, that the mood swings you experience are natural, and that the love you feel for your parent is shared by others for theirs. It's not an easy read -- you will have to put the book down from time to time, maybe to cry, maybe to get angry. But pick it up and keep going. It will lift your spirits.

If Mom's Not Dead by 9, I'm Leaving is available in stores or by special order via www.roycht.com. book is $24.50 and self-published.